(Source: shinygays)

  • french teacher: ça va?
  • me: ça va HELLA, et toi?
Anonymous Asked
QuestionHow do I make sure my gf doesn't catch me cheating on her? Answer

alphabitches:

ok follow these simple steps:

1. pick up the trash
2. step outta ur house
3. open the trash can
4. step into the trash can

good now u r where u belong congrats!!!

nflstreet:

feeling your computer getting slower though the years is one of the most heartbreaking things ever

oomshi:

i’m going to glue 1,000 cotton balls onto my body so i can finally become a cloud

ohmalley-thealliecat:

sam-winchester-cries-during-sex:

lunar-bunnie:

my

image

don’t want 

image

unless you’ve got

image

image

my snake don’t want habit unless you’ve got rabbits mulan protagonist

That’s the antagonists you moron

billcosplay:

i had a book when i was a kid where u could write ur own knock knock jokes and im still laughing at it

(Source: 3rotomania)

ridge:

this is the funniest thing i’ve seen all day

suctioning:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

willowmansdaughter:

Martin & Cracker

what kind of name is martin for a dog

Looks like cracker is choking Martin

suctioning:

killbenedictcumberbatch:

willowmansdaughter:

Martin & Cracker

what kind of name is martin for a dog

Looks like cracker is choking Martin

(Source: pawsinthepark.net)

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

(Source: meladoodle)

hurried:

my anaconda dont want none unless you got buns hun

(Source: unfollowthisblogitisaspamblog)

jetsetfuture:

Good luck sleeping tonight

  • Customer: How can you do this job (stripping)? Isn't it degrading having to take your clothes of for money?
  • Dancer: You're the guy that just forked out $300 for me to take my clothes off. Isn't it degrading having to pay that much before a girl who looks like me will take her clothes for you?